Awan
Last year sometime, someone asked me, ‘What is it like to date a writer?’
In response, I asked, ‘Are you saying you want to date me?’
and the rest is history…
But the question deserves an answer - for the sake of all the writers/artists before and after me (especially women). This piece is dedicated to them.
You see, the space of void and ambiguity is where an artist lives which is nothing but the present.
And in the present are all the hidden possibilities of life.
And in life lies all the questions that you would want to live for.
So, when you say you want to date an artist, especially a woman writer or when you ask how to date an artist, the answer is simple really. Just live in the moment with her and watch her make your wildest imaginations come true.
She will explode with dreams as vivid as God did while creating this cosmos, every morning.
Mind you!
Her well of creative rainbows does not come to extinction because the creation itself is made with it. So, if you ever get a chance to drink from this well, don’t just drink. Swim in it and your artistic lover will teach you how to find the ocean through the secret doors within this well.
You will think you have found a mermaid but don’t think of things that would limit an artist’s being. Don’t bucket them into one or two things.
No!
No matter how much time you spend with them, don’t try to understand them because it will be a waste of your time.
Simply live in the moment.
And you will see the mermaid take flight.
You will then soar to the tip of the ocean which is the artist’s heart, the view is fantastic. This is the view that every non-artist sees and likes to believe to be the only truth.
You will hear whispers behind her back, calling her a narcissist, selfish, self-observed, obsessed, irresponsible, addicted to substance and sex.
And yet, every one will dream of being with her, to be an artist, to call themselves a writer.
And yet, none can clip her fins and wings, because the goddess of creativity would have kissed her feet.
Don’t expect sunshine and lilies at all times, her great inspirations lie in the darkest corners of her creative well.
Don’t journey with her if you haven’t got the bravest of hearts and kindest of minds,
she will immediately recognise.
The question still stands unanswered-
How to date a woman who writes?
How to love an artist who loves everything?
but
Why would you even want to love an artist?
You tell me!
Otherwise, I might suggest ‘don’t date her’.
Because…
One day, she will give you all of her. As an artist, she will love you more than she loves the art that pours out of her veins. To immortalise you in her every word, every stroke, and every breath.
That day, if you decide to break her heart, not because you don’t love her anymore, but because you have never learnt to receive so much love and freedom all at once.
Then you may call her names and point fingers at her free-spirited life. She will wear her broken heart like a beautifully hand-weaved, patch-worked, embroidered tapestry. While she locks herself up and makes more art with an aching heart.
Why should you date an artist, then?
So, don’t date her.
Fall for her only if you have learnt to rise in love,
with and without her
When she cries you won’t find her tears anywhere, all you will find are words written down for nobody to read because nobody will be able to bear the heavy truth in her words.
Some days she will cry for no reason and that will drive you into madness, and she will tell you she is ‘ok’ but you won’t believe her words which is equivalent to you not believing her at all. So, why date her if you are unable to trust her words to be true even when there are tears rolling down her soul?
On other days, she will not need you at all.
Her solitude is too precious to her, yet in her solitude her love for you will haunt her, and she will allow it, but you will never understand this sacrifice she makes for you, the space she creates for you in her mind and heart, you will never fathom the wholeness of it.
So, don’t date her.
She will be late but with the best of reasons and punctual with the worst of reasons, all this is her endearing trap. Although she never has intentions of casting a fish net over you to capture your attention, you will be drawn to her like bees are to their queen.
If you want reasons to love her, then don’t love her.
Love her only if you can vanish into the madness of her optimist mind hoping never to return.
Her state of mind changes more rapidly than her clothes, but in every state - she will love you and she will memorialise that love in everything she writes. So, don’t be threatened or concerned or console her mind. Simply feel her heart and you will find the secret answers of the universe.
Her darkness will be all-consuming, she will push you away hoping to save you from it and its deep ugly creators. Her daring mind will be exuberant for your non-artistic mind to comprehend. Her deep sense of love and love may remain of high intensity for your heart to carry.
You will wish for something simpler and chart up an illusionary simplicity of womanhood as dictated by patriarchy. You will fall for the lies your petty mind will speak because your heart cannot shut shop for her true words.
Truth that will mean the cosmos to her because she conquers them with her mighty pen day and night. Words that have the power to transcend the devil into holiness and holiness into the devil.
Art that can shake your soul and force it awake.
her words, her art will scare your mortal conditioning and societal constructs.
So, you will want to run.
So, you will want to let her down slowly.
So, you will want to break her heart.
But that’s the thing about an artistic woman, they have the power to keep you alive and kill you all at once, in everything they create. You will die a million deaths in her words and be resurrected a zillion times in her mind.
Love her only if you can accept her optimistic and pessimistic methods of memorialising you.
Love her only if you want a life that takes you on a rainbow ride at full speed.
Love her only if you dare to hear your eulogy while alive.
Love her only if you are sure of never breaking her heart.
Else, please don’t waste her time, her art, her words, her love…
Go find someone grey.
Go find someone without a backbone.
Go find love full of lies.
A woman with a pen will prepare her woven artwork of a heart to fall in love again.
A woman of artistic soul will shed the burden you would have left into her words with wisdom, kindness, and love.
A woman like that will continue to rise from the power of tantric art and set the world ablaze with her sensually spiritual soul.
A woman like that does not give mixed signals, her signal will always remain the purest form of love.
You will bypass her thoughts as time passes but her artistic madness will bear no witness as you fade away for good.
So, love her only if you are sure to keep her.
So, love her only if you are sure to walk the journey.
So, love her only if you are sure of her more than yourself.
XOXO RN💋
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